1. When your judgment is clouded.
The first moment you should refrain from speaking up is when you are having difficulty thinking clearly. This could be for a variety of reasons. Perhaps you are weary, under the influence, angry, or anxious. It is better to wait a few moments before speaking up in these cases. If you don't, you might say something you'll come to regret later. You can discuss it later if you give your ideas time to evolve and still think the same way. But not when you are emotionally or in other ways constrained.
2. When your words will cause harm
The second instance in which you should refrain from speaking up is when your words are more likely to be harmful than helpful. Sure, there are times when others need to hear the truth, no matter how unpleasant it may be, but these instances are rare than we realize. Consider whether the words you are about to speak will be beneficial or if you are acting to harm the other person.
3. When your point of view is irrelevant
When your opinion is irrelevant, you should refrain from speaking up. Accepting and admitting it is never easy. Even if our ego is irrelevant, it is critical. When you don't know enough about a problem, other people are experts, or your opinion has no bearing on others, it's often best to remain silent simply because it's the wisest thing to do. Whoever does not appreciate your words is better off remaining silent.
Photo Credit: Eren Li
4. When there isn't enough evidence
Sure, in some cases, we have the right to hypothesize and speak out even if we lack evidence. This, however, is not always the case. When discussing something that is likely to have a significant impact on another person, such as their physical and emotional well-being, we should not provide uncertain facts. Hearsay is acceptable in some circumstances, but if our hearsay has the potential to influence a major decision, we should refrain from speaking. For example, if a person is debating whether to use a drug that may benefit them, it is better not to bring up a rumour about a friend of a friend who used that prescription and experienced ill effects unless you are certain that you are correct.
5. When instructed not to speak
Being urged to remain silent is even more difficult for the ego than recognizing that your gossip is not insignificant. You may be requested to take a back seat in some situations, such as at work or in other settings, and this might make us want to speak up. However, it is preferable to resist that urge and instead reflect. Why are we being asked to remain silent? In these situations, listening and learning can also be beneficial.
6. When you have nothing to say
Just because you feel compelled to include something does not mean you should. Instead, you could agree with what someone else has said. It can be hard to say that you don't have anything to add. Allow yourself to admit when you have nothing to say rather than speaking for the sake of speaking.
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