How to understand your loved ones

Warning signs that a loved one is cutting or self-harming
While cutting and self-harming occurs most frequently in adolescents and young adults, it can happen at any age. Because clothing can hide physical injuries, and inner turmoil can be covered up by a seemingly calm disposition, self-injury in a friend or family member can be hard to detect. In any situation, you don't have to be sure that you know what's going on in order to reach out to someone you're worried about. However, there are red flags you can look for:

Unexplained wounds or scars from cuts, bruises, or burns, usually on the wrists, arms, thighs, or chest.

Blood stains on clothing, towels, or bedding; blood-soaked tissues.

Sharp objects or cutting instruments, such as razors, knives, needles, glass shards, or bottle caps, in the person's belongings.

Frequent “accidents.” Someone who self-harms may claim to be clumsy or have many mishaps, in order to explain away injuries.

Covering up. A person who self-injures may insist on wearing long sleeves or long pants, even in hot weather.

Needing to be alone for long periods of time, especially in the bedroom or bathroom.

Isolation and irritability. Your loved one is experiencing a great deal of inner pain—as well as guilt at how they're trying to cope with it. This can cause them to withdraw and isolate themselves.

Understanding why your loved one cuts or self-harms
Because cutting and self-harm tend to be taboo subjects, many people harbor serious misunderstandings about their friend or family member's motivation or state of mind. Don't let these common myths get in the way of helping someone you care about.

Myth 1: People who cut and self-injure are trying to get attention.

Fact: The painful truth is that people who self-harm generally hurt themselves in secret. They aren't trying to manipulate others or draw attention to themselves. In fact, shame and fear can make it very difficult to come forward and ask for help.

Myth 2: People who self-injure are crazy and/or dangerous.

Fact: It is true that many people who self-harm suffer from anxiety, depression, eating disorders, or a previous trauma-just like millions of others in the general population, but that doesn't make them crazy or dangerous. Self-injury is how they cope. Sticking a label like "crazy" or "dangerous" on a person isn't accurate or helpful.

Myth 3: People who self-injure want to die.

Fact: When people self-harm, they are usually not trying to kill themselves—they are trying to cope with their problems and pain. In fact, self-injury may be a way of helping themselves go on living. However, there is always the risk of a more severe injury than intended and, in the long-term, people who self-injure have a much higher risk of suicide, which is why it's so important to seek help.

Myth 4: If the wounds aren't bad, it's not that serious.

Fact: The severity of a person's wounds has very little to do with how much they may be suffering. Don't assume that because the wounds or injuries are minor, there's nothing to worry about.