Question: Recently, I got a coffee and doughnut at a drive-through and was surprised and delighted to be told the person ahead of me had paid for me. I waved vigorously out the window, and wondered who could have done such a nice thing. I told my husband later and he asked if I had then paid for the person behind me. I said no. He told me I had “broken the chain.” Is this a thing? Now I feel bad!
Answer: It is a thing! But it’s a stupid thing. This kind of “paying it forward” — random acts of kindness toward a stranger — works on the honor system. The coffee-buyer or toll-payer hopes that the recipient of their boon will, themselves, gift some unsuspecting stranger in the near future.
Some people will do so immediately, paying for the next person in line. But this removes the delightful surprise factor and replaces it with tedious expectation. You’re no longer increasing joy, only inefficiency. Not to mention the awkwardness if someone in the chain happens to be ordering for the entire office. Better to pay the gift forward in time, than backward in the drive-through lane.
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