Truth & Character Thursdays

“I have faults enough, but they are not, I hope, of understanding. My temper I dare not vouch for. It is, I believe, too little yielding— certainly too little for the convenience of the world. I cannot forget the follies and vices of other so soon as I ought, nor their offenses against myself. My feelings are not puffed about with every attempt to move them. My temper would perhaps be called resentful. My good opinion once lost, is lost forever.” ― Jane Austen

Anger is an emotion that nearly everyone will experience many times throughout their life. In fact, anger is a necessary emotion to feel because it acts as a form of protection from a possible threat.

However, if you find yourself developing telltale signs of rage frequently, you might have a short temper. Maybe you're frustrated at a server who got your order wrong, or at the car in front of you that is not moving quickly enough, or perhaps even losing it at your favorite sports team for blowing a lead—this may be pointing to something a little different, and more severe.

A short fuse is a trait not too many people will line up to possess. Beyond causing those around you to perpetually walk on eggshells to avoid igniting your temper, being quick to anger can negatively affect your own physical and mental well-being.

Not sure if your emotions qualify as having a short temper? This article examines the common traits of people with short fuses and provides healthy coping strategies.

First, What is Anger?

Usually, when we feel anger, it is the symptom of a deeper painful emotion. We may feel hurt, sad, or fearful about something happening in our relationships or in our environment. Anger can feel like a knee-jerk reaction, or can build up and boil over as we stew over life's many offenses.

We may not even realize what is underneath our anger until we slow down and think about what we are really feeling and why.

How we react when we are angry is another important part of what makes our lives healthy, stable, and successful. There are many effective ways in which you can express your anger. For example, assertive communication, establishing boundaries, taking a personal time-out, squeezing nearby objects, and even crying can be a healthy way of expressing your frustration.

However, we tend to have less emotional control when we are tired, hungry, sick, or stressed.

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Signs of a Short Temper

Ask yourself... Do you have control of your emotions or do your emotions control you? Do you communicate in effective ways, or do you blow a fuse? When a short temper is on display, anger is usually manifested in an almost primal state, such as shouting obscenities, violence, breaking things, and intimidating others. When this occurs, the person might:

• Become easily irritated, offended, and defensive
• Experience racing thoughts or just "see red"
• Notice their face becoming hot and reddened
• Feel their vision go blurry
• Perceive a vein pulsating in their neck or temple area
• Feel their fists and jaw clench up
• Unleash their anger verbally or physically

It is the "fight" part of the fight or flight reaction. A short temper is usually witnessed with very little to no warning; it is an explosion of emotion without any filter or forethought. Sometimes, this primal emotion can cause embarrassment for the person who inappropriately unleashed their anger causing harm to themselves or others or their surroundings.

How a Short Temper Affects Well-Being

If you are prone to unpredictable and out-of-control fits of anger, this behavior can leave you open to several social, physical, and even psychological issues. These difficulties can manifest in the following ways.

Social and Relationship Issues

When you have a short temper, everything from someone cutting in front of you at your favorite coffee shop or a subordinate delivering work late can set you off. What about dishes being left in the sink (again)? Or a broken promise? While these are understandable reasons to be frustrated or annoyed, they are not cause for outbursts of anger or rage.

In fact, there are very few justifiable reasons for an explosion of anger directed at another person. Those intense inflammatory reactions are most understandable when someone has intentionally caused harm to you or your loved ones or violates human rights in some way. But generally speaking, having a short fuse over daily incidents will only impede communication efforts and benefit no one.

A sign that your anger has become a problem is when you notice that people tend to walk on eggshells around you.

If, after a few violent outbursts, you notice that your friends, peers, or colleagues choose their words carefully and appear to be on edge when interacting with you, this could be because they are afraid of triggering your anger. People may even single you out and warn others about interacting too freely with you to avoid being on the receiving end of an angry reaction.

Because people are so wary of your temper, you may be denied the chance to experience your loved ones fully and unreservedly. 

Another side effect of a short fuse happens if your anger manifests in public establishments. You might be asked to leave and even be banned from returning. You may be kicked out of school, lose a job, or not be allowed to participate in your favorite sports or hobbies.

If this happens, it is time for some self-reflection to determine if you are expressing your emotions in a way that is disrupting your relationships and social well-being.

What Does the Term ‘Emotionally Unstable’ Mean?

Physical Health Issues

Heavy breathing, flushed skin, and pulsing veins are only some of the visible ways anger manifests itself. But, while all that is happening on the outside, your expression of anger might also lead to a wide range of invisible physical health issues.

Heightened Blood Pressure

If you frequently feel angry, you may eventually be left in a state where your blood pressure is perpetually raised. In fact, anger is so effective at raising blood pressure that it can even hinder the work your body does to lower your blood pressure as you sleep.1

Moreover, it isn’t just your blood pressure that's at risk if you're angry often. Because anger can cause an excessive increase in the production of catecholamines (like adrenalin) and corticosteroids (like cortisol), which affect the body’s stress response, frequent feelings of anger can cause disorders in the heart's rhythm and damage to blood vessels. These effects are responsible for the common links between anger and coronary heart disease.

Anger Can Lead to Poor Health Choices

Too much anger can also impact your lifestyle. If anger is a major feature in your lifestyle, other negative coping styles have been proven to follow. Perhaps in an attempt to calm the nerves after a blowup, or out of the guilt of yet again losing your temper— studies have shown that anger can encourage unhealthy lifestyles like smoking, consuming excess caffeine, eating high-calorie foods, or consuming copious amounts of drugs or alcohol.2

These lifestyle choices can accumulate into further disease processes such as obesity, diabetes, lung disease, addictions, and so on.

The Connection Between Mental Health and Physical Health

Anger May Be a Risk Factor for Bulimia

Unhealthy role models, a distorted image of the body, and family members with the condition are all potential causes of bulimia. Many people are not aware that there is also an increased chance of developing this eating disorder if someone frequently experiences anger. The negative feelings derived from anger can be linked with the need to binge eat and vomit afterward as a coping mechanism. This link between anger and bulimia is higher in people with more impulsive traits.3

Road Accidents Have Been Linked to Anger Issues

It’s normal to get upset at someone's reckless driving or question slow drivers determined to add an extra hour to your commute. However, when caution isn’t exercised at the emotions we feel towards other road users, it can lead to devastating outcomes.

If you frequently experience road rage, studies have shown that a relationship exists between this behavior and road accidents. This may happen because you’re too focused on your feelings, and the object of your anger, leading to poor concentration on your surroundings and other factors while driving. In some cases, anger can cause a loss of vehicle control, causing accidents.4

Road rage can also lead to altercations between you and the other driver that spell out further stress and potential legal problems. In worst-case scenarios, road rage has led people to commit assault or murder of other drivers.

Psychological Issues

Anger May Be a Symptom of Depression. The popular face of depression is often sadness, tiredness, and a lack of interest in activities previously enjoyed. However, depression may also materialize in angry eruptions and persistent feelings of anger. Angry traits are commonly found in people suffering from major depressive disorder.5

Anxiety Leads to Anger. If you live with anxiety, then you’re probably familiar with the uncomfortable sweating, trembling, rapid breathing, etc., that tends to occur with this condition. Anxiety involves troubling thoughts and a sense of worry that triggers the physical sensations of anxiety. Studies have shown that intense and frequent feelings of anger are known to be associated with or triggered by the physical symptoms of anxiety.6

If, in addition to anxiety, you constantly find yourself losing your temper due to minor events, there’s a possibility that anger and anxiety are linked for you. 

Anger Leads to Mental Health Problems. Not only can anger be a symptom of depression and anxiety, but it can also be a causal factor. The devastating aftermath of the short fuse can wreak havoc on your self-esteem, your relationships, and your mental health.

After an outburst, you may feel out of control, embarrassed, ashamed, sad, and confused. You are exhausted from trying to fix the damage that you caused in a moment of rage. You have lost jobs, isolated yourself from family and friends, burned bridges, and found yourself in legal and financial trouble. It can be a real mess that leads to depression, anxiety, and addictions.

How to Cope With Anger

Anger might seem unappealing after learning of the potential dangers it poses to your physical, social, and mental health, but this emotion is a necessary part of your well-being. Remember, it is there to let you know something is wrong. It may spur you to protect someone who is being harmed or prompt you to become an advocate for human rights. It can provide the warning signs you are in an unhealthy relationship, or that changes need to be made in your life.

As with joy and sadness, expressing anger over a broken promise, a lost opportunity, being mistreated, or other inconvenience is completely healthy and should be encouraged.

However, if anger is frequently felt and inappropriately expressed, it can prove to be harmful for many reasons. Learning to cope with this emotion then becomes important. So let's take a look at some ways you can manage your anger.

Try Positive Exercises

When you feel the unmistakable signs of your anger building up, try to focus on positive practices like deep breathing to calm yourself down. Supporting your breathing with soothing words ("Everything is going to be ok," "This will pass," and "It is not the end of the world") can also contribute to reigning in your anger.

Repeating this exercise until your anger is subdued can help to prevent an outburst, as well as the negative outcomes that accompany it.

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Reach Out to Loved Ones

Just as you would open up to loved ones over the pain of heartbreak or the joy of a promotion—calling loved ones when you’re about to lose control of your temper is a healthy way of coping with the emotion. Talking through your feelings with someone you trust can help you gain perspective and diffuse some of the intensity of your initial reaction.

Your friends and family can act as a support group, calming you until the worst is over.

Keep a Mood Journal

A recommended way to cope with anger and recognize how frequently you embrace this emotion is by keeping a journal to track your emotions. Note the triggers that push you to outbursts, as well as the thoughts that run through your mind when this happens to understand your feelings better.

You may find you are letting negative feelings get bottled up for too long until you explode, or that you are over-reacting due to other underlying issues that need to be addressed.

Writing also has a calming effect by helping you sort through your thoughts and can help you gain perspective and insight. This process can bring you to a more effective solution to the problem minus the emotional outburst.

11 Anger Management Strategies to Help You Calm Down

See a Therapist

If you feel that your emotions are too strong and volatile to be contained through self-help, seeking professional guidance is always a welcome way to get things under control.

A licensed mental health professional can help you recognize and control the negative thoughts that may spur an angry outburst. Through therapy, you may also learn different ways to respond to triggers more healthily.

The Best Online Therapy Programs We've tried, tested and written unbiased reviews of the best online therapy programs including Talkspace, Betterhelp, and Regain.

A Word From Verywell

Under normal circumstances, anger is a normal and healthy emotion. However, where this emotion is a prominent feature of your life, to the extent that it leads people to act carefully around you to prevent an outburst, that could be an issue.

While anger can be a powerful emotion, it is manageable. Using breathing techniques, seeking support from loved ones, and going to therapy can help keep your anger under control.

Remember, the goal isn't to eliminate anger from your life but to prevent it from becoming the defining status of your character and damaging your well-being. Diligently practicing some healthy anger management skills can help you get this emotion under control.

Verywell Mind uses only high-quality sources, including peer-reviewed studies, to support the facts within our articles. Read our editorial process to learn more about how we fact-check and keep our content accurate, reliable, and trustworthy.

1. Shehata MF. A proposed study on how far anger contributes to initiating essential hypertension in Canadian Caucasian adults with a family history of hypertension. Clin Med Insights Cardiol. 2010;4:9-13.

2. Staicu ML, Cuţov M. Anger and health risk behaviors. J Med Life. 2010;3(4):372-375.

3. Engel SG, Boseck JJ, Crosby RD, et al. The relationship of momentary anger and impulsivity to bulimic behavior. Behav Res Ther. 2007;45(3):437-447. doi:10.1016/j.brat.2006.03.014

4. Sullman MJM, Gras ME, Cunill M, Planes M, Font-Mayolas S. Driving anger in Spain. Personality and Individual Differences. 2007;42(4):701-713. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2006.08.014

5. de Bles NJ, Rius Ottenheim N, van Hemert AM, et al. Trait anger and anger attacks in relation to depressive and anxiety disorders. J Affect Disord. 2019;259:259-265. doi:10.1016/j.jad.2019.08.023

6. Walsh LM, Wolk CB, Haimes EMB, Jensen-Doss A, Beidas RS. The relationship between anger and anxiety symptoms in youth with anxiety disorders. J Child Adolesc Couns. 2018;4(2):117-133. doi:10.1080/23727810.2017.1381930

Unattractive Qualities

What is one strategy you've found effective in managing or dealing with a bad temper, either in yourself or others?